⚠ THIS SITE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION 4 EVER ⚠
🎨 ED'S PROFILE PIC (HAND DRAWN BY ME)
✨ "ed_pic_FINAL_v3_REAL.jpg" ✨
(drawn in MS Paint with a mouse, 6 hours)
ONLINE NOW · LAST LOGIN: 4 mins ago
📊 ED'S DETAILS
| STATUS | Suspiciously Nice |
|---|---|
| MOOD | sparkly |
| HEIGHT | Exactly one loop pedal taller than the loop pedal |
| HAIR | GINGER (non-negotiable) |
| ZODIAC | Acoustic rising, Stadium moon |
| HOMETOWN | A pub above a chip shop, Suffolk |
| OCCUPATION | Layering the same four bars until you cry |
| SMOKES | No |
| DRINKS | Tea. Relentlessly. |
| CHILDREN | Six guitars and a Lego castle |
💬 AIM AWAY MESSAGE
SheeranLoops1991: brb writing a song about the specific way the light came through the window in a cafe in 2004, back in like 3 albums x
✉ buzz me on AIM · ICQ: 100-4471-91
📈 U R VISITOR NUMBER
people have witnessed this website
you have been here for 0s
★ THANK U 4 THE SUPPORT ★
🎖 MY AWARDS & AFFILIATIONS
📌 won BEST FAN SITE from a webring that no longer exists
🌐 ED IS IN YOUR EXTENDED NETWORK
✨ ED IS IN YOUR EXTENDED NETWORK ✨
He does not know this. Nobody has told him. The network simply is.
♪ NOW PLAYING ON MY PROFILE (AUTOPLAY, SORRY)
⚠ in 1999 this would have started on its own with no warning and no off switch.
I have chosen to be a better person than that. You are welcome.
📁 MY TOP TRACKS (mp3s NOT included, sorry, bandwidth)
- four_chords_and_a_loop_pedal.wma (9.2 MB · 46 min download)
- song_that_gets_played_at_every_wedding.mp3 (you know the one)
- the_one_that_ruins_me_in_the_car.mp3 (do not play this near me)
- unreleased_demo_REAL_NOT_FAKE_1999.mp3 (it is 40 seconds of tuning)
- tea_making_ambient_sounds_vol2.wav (kettle, spoon, sigh)
- galway_pub_maths_symbol_track.mp3 (corrupted, plays only the "oi")
⚠ RIGHT CLICK → SAVE TARGET AS. Please do not hotlink, my host will delete my account.
👤 ABOUT ME
hiya!! 👋 im ED and i play the guitar and i sing and sometimes i do both at the exact same time which people seem to find quite impressive.
i have one (1) guitar that i love and eleven (11) guitars that i am simply looking after. i have a machine on the floor that repeats what i just played so it sounds like there are more of me. there are not more of me. it is just the one of me and a lot of equipment.
i write songs about: a girl, a pub, a specific evening in 2007, my nan, and being quite tired but in a nice way. that is the full range and i am at peace with it.
i named my albums after maths symbols because i ran out of words on the first one and honestly it has worked out fine. next one is going to be called √ and then ∞ and then i am going to release one called ( just to see what happens.
i drink tea. a lot of tea. an unhelpful amount of tea.
⚠ PARODY DISCLAIMER: i am not actually Ed Sheeran. i am a website. i was made by someone's sibling as a joke. Ed, if you are somehow reading this, sorry, and also your loop pedal is genuinely cool.
👀 WHO I'D LIKE TO MEET
- My sister's mate ADA, who has apparently been "a fan since 2011" — that is 14 years of unwavering commitment and frankly it is more consistent than most of my relationships.
- Whoever invented the loop pedal. I owe that person a house.
- Someone who can explain why my albums are maths symbols. Genuinely, I forgot.
- A ginger cat, on business.
- The person at every gig who screams "PLAY THE ONE FROM THE WEDDING". I will. I always will. You did not need to shout.
- God, briefly, to ask about the chip shop.
👥 ED'S TOP 8 FRIENDS (THIS IS A RANKING AND IT IS FINAL)
ADA'S LISTENING STATS made it into the Top 8 on merit. The mug of tea is furious about being beaten by a pedal.
💔 8 of 8 friend slots used. The waiting list is 4 million people long. 💔
🎸 ED'S INTERESTS
| GENERAL | Tea. Loops. Loops of tea. Standing alone on an enormous stage looking small on purpose. Small venues I will never play again but will reference constantly. |
|---|---|
| MUSIC | Acoustic guitar, more acoustic guitar, and one surprising rap verse that nobody asked for but everyone respects. |
| MOVIES | Anything where someone plays guitar in the rain and it fixes their life. |
| TELEVISION | Competitive baking. The one where they all cry. I also cry. |
| BOOKS | The manual for the loop pedal. Twice. Cover to cover. It is a great read actually. |
| HEROES | My nan. Whoever invented the kettle. ADA, who has defended my honour in group chats since 2011. |
🔮 ↑ FREE INTERACTIVE JAVA APPLETS ↑ (cutting edge)
⚠ requires Java. It does not require Java. Nothing here requires Java.
↑ click it, it is free, it has always been free ↑
↑ you will need this to sign the guestbook ↑
👑 THE ACTUAL POINT OF THIS WEBSITE
FOR ADA
(↑ that says ADA, the biggest Ed Sheeran fan alive)
This website exists because you have spent 14 years being completely, publicly, unembarrassably devoted to one ginger man with an acoustic guitar, and nobody has ever managed to talk you out of it.
People have tried. People have said things. You did not flinch. You put the song on in the car anyway.
Honestly? That is a lovely way to be about anything. So here is a genuinely horrific website about it, made with love, by your sibling.
💕 NEVER APOLOGISE 4 UR FAVE 💕
ADA'S OFFICIAL FAN LEVEL, independently verified:
100% · the meter broke · we had to build a bigger meter · that one broke too
✉ CONTACTING ED
| ed@teadrinker.geocities.com | |
| AIM | SheeranLoops1991 |
| ICQ | 100-4471-91 |
| MSN | gingerlegend@hotmail.co.uk |
| FAX | yes |
| PAGER | only for emergencies and chord requests |
| POST | Above The Chip Shop, Suffolk, England, The World |
⚠ none of these are real. please do not fax anyone.
🔨 MORE PAGES COMING SOON (1999) 🔨